


Quackity Struggles

by caityssmp



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, Happy Ending, Hearing Voices, M/M, No Smut, Past Abuse, Relapsing, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caityssmp/pseuds/caityssmp
Summary: Quackity developed an alcohol problem while he was with Schlatt, but when he met Karl and Sapnap he didn't feel the need for it anymore... except for tonight.orQuackity hears Schlatt's voice in his head years after his death, coaxing him to go back to his horrible ways while Sapnap and Karl are away.(some of the talk in this fic is kinda of heavy, please proceed with caution.)
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Alexis | Quackity & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 55





	Quackity Struggles

Today, Quackity was sad. 

Being busy building Vegas has already cut his time short with his two lovers, but with Sapnap and Karl building Kinoko Kingdom and Karl’s new weird desire to travel has left Quackity feeling very alone. 

He wanders to the house built next to the mushroom library, which he shares with his fiancés. He finds the house empty, as usual now a days. 

Sapnap is off helping George fix his house, and Karl is off on another trip. He doesn’t understand why Karl won’t tell them where he is going. Sometimes he returns happy, upbeat, but other time he returns beaten and bleeding. Two weeks ago he returned and collapsed, appearing to have been stabbed.

No matter how much Quackity and Sapnap beg him to tell them where he was going, he refuses.

Quackity threw down his bag on the floor, along with his armour, stretching slightly as the weight was lifted from him.

He walks to his lover’s shared bedroom, flopping down hard on the bed. “What is Karl hiding from us? Why is Sapnap always so busy? Do they hate me?” quackity asks out loud, to no one in particular. He can feel his eyes start to burn as the tears begin to swell. Quackity felt as if since Schlatt, he had a good control of his emotions, learning that not everyone hates him like Schlatt made him believe. But once in a while, those emotions break through whether he likes it or not.

“They hate me, they are going to leave me, just like everyone else has.” Quackity sobbed out loud. He could hear Schlatt in his head. “I told you so, you will end up alone, like you always do. I left you, they are going to leave you, you will be alone Quackity!” Schlatt screamed in is head, quackity covered his ears anyway. 

When he was with Schlatt, Quackity developed an addiction to alcohol. Between the mental, emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Schlatt, it numbed him, in more ways than one. After a beating, it was nothing for quackity to drink a bottle of whiskey on the floor of their shared room. He began to drink just to survive, and it spiralled. 

-

After Schlatt died, He felt there was nothing to live for. Everyone he loved was gone or dead. That evening, Quackity crafted enough whiskey to kill a horse and made his way to the crater. He sat down on the edge of the crater, assessing the damage. So much loss, so much pain. He cracked open the first bottle and downed it in minutes, he opened another, and then another, and then another. He could feel himself starting to lose conciseness, slowly laying down on the edge, he began to allow himself to slip away. 

Karl and Sapnap were walking down the prime path when Sapnap noticed a body laying near the crater. “Karl! Look! It’s Quackity” Sapnap yelled as he and Karl ran over to Quackity’s lifeless body. Sapnap knelt down next to him, “Quackity! Come on wake up!” he said as he shook him. No response. Karl felt for a pulse. “There’s a very faint pulse Sap, we have to do something!” 

“I have some healing potions back at my place, let’s take him there” Sapnap says to Karl as he cradles Quackity in his arms. They’ve never been the best of friends, but he wouldn’t wish this on anyone. 

Sapnap and Karl sprint back to Sapnap’s house, once there Sapnap gently places Quackity down on the couch. Sapnap points to a chest in the corner “Karl, in there, there should be a batch of healing potions, bring all of them. I’m pretty sure Quackity’s tried to kill himself.” Karl reaches into the chest and retrieves the potions.

“What makes you think he tried to kill himself?” Karl asked, Sapnap could hear the concern in his voice. 

“He stinks of whiskey, I’m guessing by the number of bottles surrounding him at the crater, he wasn’t having a party.” Sapnap states as he gets to work on quackity. 

Sapnap can see Quackity’s chest rising and falling, with very shallow breathes. 

Sapnap quickly worked on administering the potions to Quackity, as they worked, he moved him to his bed. 

Quackity’s pulse slowly became stronger, his breathing became deeper and more regular, and the colour returned to his skin. 

Karl and Sapnap watched over him closely, they feared what his reaction would be when he woke up. Quackity wasn’t particularly a scary person, but anyone waking up in a strange place would be concerning to anyone. 

After a few hours, Quackity began to stir. “Sapnap” Karl whispered. Sapnap glanced up from his book. Karl was the first to his feet. Quackity jumped defensively when Karl approached the bed. Karl put his hands up, “Quackity, it’s Karl, you’re safe, we aren’t here to hurt you.” Quackity paused for a bit before slightly relaxing. He rubbed his eyes. “Where am I?” Quackity asked quietly. 

“You’re at my house” Sapnap said, approaching the end of the bed. 

It’s silent for a moment before he speaks. 

“Why did you just let me die?” Quackity said, avoiding both of their gazes. 

“What do you mean why did we let you die?” Karl asked. “You were basically dead next to the crater, you just wanted us to leave you there?” he continued 

“Yes Karl, I did.” Quackity said quietly. 

Quackity pulled himself into a sitting position, against the headboard. 

Sapnap sat down on the end of the bed.

“Quackity, why did you want us to leave you there?” Sapnap inquired. 

“Because, I have nothing to live for.” Quackity said, playing with the hem of the blanket, avoiding looking at the two men in front of him. 

Karl and Sapnap sat with Quackity for hours while he sobbed, telling them everything Schlatt put him through, all of the abuse, how alone he is, how bad his alcohol probably is, everything. It felt nice to be cared for for once, but it felt weird. 

“I’m sorry I unloaded all of this on you guys” quackity sniffled. 

“No Quackity, I’m sorry. I wish I had known sooner. I’m sorry for being so blind to what he was doing to you.“ Sapnap said quietly. 

“There’s nothing you could have done Sapnap” Quackity replied.

Karl sniffled. “I’m sorry too Quackity, if I could go back in time and fix what he did I would” 

After a few minutes of silence, just processing the information before quackity spoke up. 

“Well, I guess I should get going” he said as he attempted to reach his feet, failing miserably, hitting the floor with a thud. 

“Quackity!” sapnap said, jumping to his feet to pull him back to the bed.

“Please stay a few days, till you heal completely at least” he pleaded. 

“Won’t I be bothering you?” quackity said, not believing he wasn’t inconveniencing Sapnap. 

“Oh god no! I’ll sleep in the spare room! It’s almost dinner time, let’s make some food!” 

Quackity did stay, and he never left. He had no desire to go back home. He grew close with Sapnap and Karl. Karl eventually moved in with them, and slowly the three of them became inseparable. 

Karl and Sapnap helped Quackity through his depression, showing him what real love looked like while falling in love with his two best friends. Quackity slowly overcame his alcohol addiction. He no longer felt the need to numb himself, of mental or physical pain. Sapnap and Karl showed him how to love, and how it feels to be loved properly, without pain. 

Except right now, quackity just wants to be numb. 

-

Quackity pushes himself up off the bed, with tear-stained cheeks and swollen red eyes he made his way to the kitchen. He approaches the craft table and pauses. Does he really want to do this? “Come on Quackity, you know you want to. They don’t love you; you know that. What’s one drink?” he hears a familiar voice in his head say. 

He reaches for the ingredients and crafts 3 bottles. He has no idea how much he’ll need as he hasn’t drank in years. He takes the bottles into the living room, placing them down on the coffee table. He leans back on the couch and cracks the first bottle. 

He stares down the neck of the bottle. “you deserve this quackity, you always have. You deserve to be alone, you will always be alone” the voice says. 

Quackity pulls the bottle to his lips as he hears the front door open, and quackity flinches at the sound and drops the bottle as it shatters on the ground. 

“Quackity! What are you doing?!” Sapnap yells as he quickly approaches quackity, sitting down in front of him.

Quackity pulls himself to the furthest away part of the couch and curls into a ball and begins to sob again.

“P-p-please don’t hurt m-me” he says curling his head in towards his lap 

Sapnap immediately knows this reaction. 

Sapnap slides off the couch and crouches in front of quackity. He slowly reaches up and caresses quackity’s shaking hands, he pulls away for a second then melts into the touch. Even mid panic attack, sapnap always had a way of calming quackity. 

“Quackity, it’s Sap, I’m here, you are safe. He is not here, I will not hurt you, I am not mad. I am sorry I yelled. Breathe with me okay?” Sapnap said quietly. 

After a few minutes Quackitys breathing steadied. 

Sapnap pulled himself up beside quackity and pull him into him. Quackity grabbed his shirt and held on as if he would disappear if he didn’t hold on with all his might. 

Sapnap engulfed quackity in a full body hug. They sat like that for quite some time in silence. 

Sapnap was the first to speak. 

“Quackity my love, what’s going on?” 

Quackity gripped sapnaps shirt tighter, even though he didn’t think that was possible.

After a moment Quackity spoke. “Do you guys hate me?” he choked out. 

“I’m sorry? Why would you ever think that?” 

“Well with Karl being gone constantly and you are always out helping someone I feel as if you are slowly distancing yourself from me. If you don’t love me anymore please just tell me, I can take it.” Quackity says, feeling himself tearing up again. 

Sapnap pulled back from quackity. This is it, he thought, just as he expected.

Sapnap pulls an arm from around quackity and places it on his chin, pulling his head up to meet sapnap’s eyes. 

His heart broke looking into the dark brown eyes, bloodshot as can be. How long has he been like this? He thought to himself. 

He pulled quackity’s face to his and kissed him deeply, hopeful that quackity can feel his love. 

After a moment he pulled away, resecuring his arms around quackity. Quackity nestled into sapnaps neck, breathing in his scent.

“Quackity, I love you so much you have no idea, Karl does too. I’m sorry I’ve been so busy I haven’t noticed how down you were. I’ll call George, the house can wait. You matter more than anything else. Please know, you are the most important thing in my life. I fell in love with you for a reason, I am not going anywhere.” Sapnap whispered into Quackity’s hair. 

Quackity relaxed with every word.  
“You know that horrible day I found you. I felt so guilty listening to you talk that afternoon. I was so angry I’m surprised I didn’t burst into flames. I think I fell in love with you that day, I know Karl did.” He chuckled, a single tear falling down his cheek.

“Quackity, I don’t know what you were hearing from him today, but god please ignore him. He is dead. Next time you hear him, call me please. I cannot lose you. I could not live with myself. Seeing as I almost lost you once, that was enough for one lifetime. I don’t know what is going on with Karl either and I am worried too, but has Karl ever done something that wasn’t important? That wasn’t to help someone?” 

“You’re right” Quackity said into his neck. 

“We will talk to him, together. You need us, and we need you. We are partners, you don’t have to do anything alone ever again. Everything you feel is valid and just because the past is in the past means it won’t sneak up on you once in a while, and when it does Karl and I are here to help you through it, Okay? And please if you ever feel like drinking again please tell me” 

Quackity nods, pulling sapnap’s impossibly close to him. 

“Karl and I absolutely cannot live without you; I can’t stress that enough to you quackity. We wouldn’t function without you.”

Sapnap pulls Quackity into another kiss, just as passionate and full of love as the first one, and this time quackity returns the love.

They fall asleep on that couch together, tangled in each other arms.

Karl comes home hours later to find his lovers like that. He questions the whiskey, quickly discarding it but he leaves the questions till morning. He pulls a blanket over them, kissing each one of them on the forehead. As he turns to head to their bedroom a hand reaches out and grabs his wrist, pulling him down on top of them.

“You thought you were going to get away from this cuddle pile Karl?” sapnap mumbled, half asleep.

“I would never.” Karl stated before snuggling into them. 

-

When they awake the next day, sapnap explains to Karl what happened. What Quackity doesn’t see is Karl breakdown over the thought of what Quackity went through yesterday. 

They vow to each other that they will never let this happen every again.


End file.
